Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Europe. Turkey. Italy. Switzerland. France. UK. David. Art. Sistine chapel. Paintings. Sculptures. Travel. Disneyland. Eiffel Tower. And new cultures.
I miss my adventure so much, there’s not a day I wish I was back roaming the pebbled streets in Europe, especially Italy.

Prince Charming. Ogre. Wall-e. Cupcake. Chubby. Bonn-e.
Diamond ring. My diamond ring.
Found the one I was looking for… finally! And it has been worth the wait.

Away. Missing. Memories. Surprises. And lots of love. Good food. Pampering. Relaxation.
Going home is always special, mama, papa, tommy leanne & lovell (if he’s back from hyd)

Friday, December 12, 2008

It goes like this

I am sleepy
No matter how much I sleep
I just never seem to be sleeping enough
After full nights sleep
I am still sleepy
I doze away in the train
I doze in the rick to office
The next few hours pass in a blur
Have coffee
And more coffee
But still am sleepy
What to do
I think I just need a shot or something
I just need something to take me off this sleep

Thursday, December 11, 2008

goody goody!

Black Pumps []
Yellow dump bag []
A good book []
More books []
Flip Flops []
iPod []
More books []
A kitten []
Popsicles []
More popsicles []
Red pumps []
Accessories []
A holiday []
Tickets to Europe []

i can't wait till christmas. (tat was the clause added to receiving an early gift)... goody goody :)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

:) ... na na na na na

The Official "Naughty or Nice" Ranking
for Jolene: Nice (B+)

Dated this Wednesday, December 10, 2008
At The North Pole

Merry Christmas Jolene!

Way to go Jolene! Your halo may be a little bit crooked but you're definitely on Santa's "Nice List"! Mrs. Claus and the elves sure do look forward to hearing how you're doing!

Keep up the great work, Jolene!Great work Jolene!

Merry Christmas!

Signed, Santa Claus

the tuesday

i got up late
my last months of doing my own thing
so am making the most of it

ordered for lunch
noodles & chilli garlic chicken

wash my clothes
clean my room
clean the closet
throw away a lot of thrash

pack my bags to go home
by home i mean goa
this will be my last christmas
as a dsouza
and the last christmas at home :(

start reading by 4 in the afternoon
soon i start to doze off
phone rings at 5.30
drowsy i have no clue what's said
i hear a bye, will call you later
ok cool
am off to sleep again

wake up at 6.30
keep my bucket for bath
cleanse myself
start to do some crochet

time for dinner
yikes lousy food
still eat a little
banish myself to my room

crochet again
speak to bon
wall-e wall-e
speak to mama
keep crocheting

10.25 the bell rings
lights out
i go out
crotchet again
talk to bon

oh god
its time for oprah
bye will call you later

12.30 am
ok bye
am off to sleep too

Monday, December 08, 2008

and the following monday

i am sleepy

on sunday...

i was introduced to a lot of extended family as the "lady i will be marrying"
swinging between emotions.

i guess will just have to get used to it!
hey! i am not complaining.

the saturday

vashi. train. pankaz home. meenu. oil painting. punjabi food. panner. hot hot rotis. jeera rice. beans. salad. yummy. talking. gilmore girls. pepsi. sandy. ankur. pankaz. meenu. channel surfing. swing. cold. walk. 360 tour vashi. dogs. stamp. puppies. scared. 180 tour only. task. thank god. tv. talking. channel surfing. shallow hal. yawn. tea. pankaz makes. munchies. more yawns. sleep. sleep. dark. ummm. sleep. phone. awake. breakfast. memories. wonderful

Friday, December 05, 2008

i decided to blog...

for the next few days
left in this year

i just feel
the need to do so

Wednesday, December 03, 2008


All books are written to be read. But there are some books that you read and just cannot forget about them. Here are 3 of my favourite.

I started reading Shantaram about 2 weeks back, then the terror attacks in Mumbai took place. I was at part of the Afghan war & considering the current scenario, could read no more of the book for a few days. I went back to the book and found solace, as Gregory David Roberts so well put is Mumbai is all about the unbreakable spirit.
I am not from Mumbai, but I am an Indian, and during this time, as I observed life get back to normal, I just could help but admire the spirit of the people. The book helped me under the city I live in even better.

Maximum City by Suketu Mehta is also another book which describes life in the city. A city that I have come to cherish. Read it and you will know what the city brings to you.

Then just a few days back I began reading A Long Way Gone, by Ismael Beah. Now this book is so gripping that I just can’t imagine what life for this boy then must have been. The terror faced as a child? Unimaginable!
We know something like this happens, yet we can do nothing to protect the children. Today as this young man narrates his experiences, I wonder what can I do?

My friends ask me why do I read such books?
Then again why not?!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008


If I begin to count, then I have just 5 months & 16 days remaining.
Is this really happening to me?
And in this time there’s so much to do.
More shopping = stress
Tick off the things to do on my to-do list
Decisions to make
White or yellow
A single stem or a bunch of flowers
More shopping = even more stress
Cutting down lists
I can’t do this any longer
Think will do what I do best
Chill and not take any tension
But how can I not
It’s the one day I have waited for all my life
And I want it to be perfect
And want it to be just like how
I imagined it to be

My bubble burst
I am not dreaming
It is coming true after all

Monday, December 01, 2008

i don't have time!

is it really happening?
that leaves me hardly any time!

OMG what am i going to do?
how i am going to manage all this in so little time?

more importantly...
my days are numbered (faints)

Saturday, November 29, 2008

just indians afterall!

sometimes we need a reminder,
a reminder to bring us back,
back to who we are,
and where we belong.

i am not a mumbaikar,
i am not a north-indian,
i am not just another person,
i am an indian, and that's what makes me!

i am known for not being too patriotic,
but then you can't really blame me,
but should someone question the integrity of men
sacrificing their lives for our brotheren,
you will damn right have to answer to me.

i salute all those men - marcos, nsg, the police
& innocent people who have lost their lives.

Friday, November 28, 2008

The media. Argh!

Is the media right in covering everything that happens?
Aint we giving the terrorist even more info?
Yah right, the cable wires have been cut, but hello these people are terrorist, does the media honestly think they don’t have satellite phones, through which main organization can relay information.

So the media wants their TRPs to go up.

On the other hand the justification offered?! Everybody wants to know what’s happening, so relay it after consultation with the officials on what info can be diverged with!

I mean here the media is relaying live action, commandos breaking on the roofs, rescue operations. WHAT ARE WE DOING??
Supplying first hand info to the terrorist!
Army jawans, police personnel are loosing their lives and who is to be blamed for this?
The terrorist or the media?

What about the people who are trapped in. We all want to know what’s happening to them. All I am saying is do things, in a rational manner.

News should be news, it shouldn’t be relayed in a manner that could prove harmful to the lives of people who are trying to help or the hostages.
I hope the media realizes this, before it is too late.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Jolenisms...

According to the pinky one. Obey or face the wrath.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods without the appropriate god licence.
Call 800 – JOLENISM for further details.
2. Remember the Pink day, to keep it pink. 28th June or 31st Oct, take a pick.
3. Honour thy father and thy mother, so long as they honour you, because it cuts both ways buddy.
4. Thou shalt not kill, except if an animal crosses your path and has ‘food’ spelt on it. Oh and also in war.
5. Thou shalt not commit adultery. If you do, do not get caught or somebody gonna get a hurt real bad.
6. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's bling! Bling sucks big time.
7. Thou will worship the blacks & the pinks.
8. Thou shalt not make babies. They are annoying and loud.
9. You shall not make for yourself an idol, we already have enough in this country.
10. Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

if your doing it...

Remember sex is evil, but if you must have sex, be sure to make a baby in the process.

If you fail to make a baby, then you have most certainly violated God's commandment to "Be fruity fruitful and multiply"

The church hates contraceptives.
And you better not piss the men in white and gold.
So if you are doing it you better be fruitful!


15" computer
Office 2008
Bonnie magically appearing by my cubicle
Delvin thinking my hands were head-massagers
Bhai log
Insulting Werner
Harassing namrata
Pinging tan even though she was rite there
Varun telling me to go pee
People asking me out to a smoke, even though I don’t smoke
The brainstorming sessions on 'Wot's for lunch'
The philosophical discussions on life
Mandy bugging G
And G spoiling with a fight with mandy
The 2nd hand smoke
Seeing text twirl on peoples comps
The deepakisms
Stomping around like the bhai
Getting wow'ed by sam's artwork
Hitting people
My chair with the Vodafone sticker
My super cluttered messy desk
My suicidal notes and to-do lists
Ice-cream breaks to amici
Getting up late
Monzy’s voluminous laughter
I just miss everything, it would be hard not too :)

Monday, November 24, 2008

The beginning of all times

Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden. They were both naked. They were the very first humans. And they were pure although they were naked. They had never managed to do anything wrong, ever. That meant that they were totally inexperienced. They didn't know that doing naughty things can sometimes be fun. They didn't know that you sometimes feel guilty afterwards. They had no idea that being naked is embarrassing. Adam and Eve also didn’t know that wearing sexy underwear can be more exciting than being naked.

Anyway Adam looked at Eve’s tits and he had no idea what to do with them. Adam looked at Eve’s pussy and he had no idea what to do with that either. Eve looked at Adam’s little wang. Perhaps that excited her. But she had no idea what that could do either. Perhaps she did.

Anyway, along came this talking snake. The snake spoke to them and said,

Hey, look! They're naked!

Serpent: "Holy ssshit! I can ssspeak!"

"You can find out all about things if you eat some tasty fruit from this lovely tree."

Eve: "God told us we shouldn’t eat fruit from that tree."

Serpent:"Come on don't be pussies."

Eve: "God said if we eat that fruit we'll DIE on that same day."

Serpent:"God was just making that up. Of course you won't DIE."

Eve: "Er well.... we're not sure."

Serpent: “If God didn’t want you to eat that fruit why on Earth did he put the tree there? You don't think God is Evil do you?”

Eve: “You think God really wants us to eat it?”

Serpent:"You want to find out about everything don't you?"

Eve: "Well...perhaps... The fruit really looks tasty."

Serpent:"if you eat that fruit you'll be like God and know what God knows. That'll be cool, really cool."

Nobody had told Adam or Eve that disobedience is wrong. So rather than saying "OMG, IT'S A TALKING SNAKE" and running a mile, they ate that tasty fruit. And ta ta! then they knew what to do with each other. And they got excited. And they fished. Afterwards they got embarrassed. And they covered themselves up. But that didn’t help them. They just weren't inocent any more. They stayed dejected in the garden and waited for God's wrath.

What do you think happens next?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

change happened!

it did
and i am
so glad
it did

change is good
change is different
change is scary
change is nice
change is skeptical
change is new

and change is
i should have
dome long time back!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

time to say bye

so finally the day is here
and its not easy to say bye
and not be surrounded by colleagues who are now friends

so on this day
this is what my gtalk window looked like...

and a poem by a fellow goan, selwyn aka sicko!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

i feel


and i feel like my friend lyons (the bird in the picture)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

yeah i did it & i dont even know how!

watch and be amazed.
and for the record, i hate politics.
i hate american shite!
and i don't care what happens there.
i love a good video, especially since its to do with me :)

thanks dee!

Monday, November 03, 2008

m back!

and i did doodle a lot on my break
but other than that i lazed like my cat
and got fed
and slept
and was happy as i could be :)

and oh yeah did some serious research too

Saturday, October 25, 2008


finally i can say i coined words that may be one day you and your kids will use.
i think i should get a noble prize for my contributions or a pulitzer prize, but for now just a thumbs up will do :)

Boobie Buttons

Bust Rip

click on the word to know its meaning. I dare u!

umrican &%$#shite!

i am not a fan of politics
definitely not American or "umrican" politics
and i care a damn who wins!
but still i cannot ignore this piece of art!

Obama '08 - Vote For Hope from MC Yogi on Vimeo.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

its been a long time...

but m back!

its just that i dream a lot these days
and i am doodling more

but i've just got back from home
and having been pampered like hell
want nothing more to do

plus the tides are changing

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Not Your Typical Girl!

by Tan

She’d hook herself up to a ketchup IV
And drown in a deep pink sea
She’s the girl that chases helpless kittens
On a shocking pink Harley

She’s drafted a self-help suicide book
And tattooed her ex-husband’s chest
And when it comes to slaying little pet pigs
She toots her mommy as being the best

She hides from some CS stalker freaks
And is an adoptive mother to some
She speeds away on Monday nights
To keep her date with the NUN

She can name every single Aristocat
In her sleep or a drunken state
She has a penchant for doing Wall-E’s voice
For the drama it always creates

You better accept the food she offers
And her unborn children as well
Don’t you dare rearrange the shit on her comp
Or there’s going to be a whole lot of hell

She won’t touch anything green on her plate
And hates Sunsilk, Bournvita and Twirl
She’s a woman of wonder, a lady unrivalled…
She’s not your typical girl!

sniff... sniff...
thanks tan
that was simply awesome

who all of you who don't know who the hell tan is.
well she's this psycho-but-i-am-perfectly-normal girl who drives me crazy and provides much needed entertain with her everyday acts to the entire copy team.
other than that she is a brilliant writer and an even better friend.
oh did i tell you that this is the same chick i traveled around europe with :)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Insane conversations…

Parag: Buon Giorno Principessa
Me: atto Buon Giorno Principessa marifinanga
Parag: naka tujya saathi assach manhalo...
Me: didi saaa limi yaaaang
Parag: didimazi ghari aahe...
Me: kilanadu jiingati
aver aver ni cheee
Parag: tu mulund yenaar teva tula
Me: aeeete na lukar
Parag: aaaateee kaam kara
Me: meeeeteeee zaaaathongi
Parag: :)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

the wierdest reaction!

i ask this guy why he loves me
and this is what he has to say...
"because i am an idiot!"

should i be offended?
but that's the most original thing i have ever heard in a long long time.

Monday, September 22, 2008

this kid...

i never thought of myself, that i would be capable of being someone's mentor.
i know i gave this kid a hard time.
but more importantly i know he worked even harder to prove himself.
i know there were times i was flabbergasted at what he wrote.
i wanted to pull my hair out!
unbelievable! ridiculous! yet super funny.
what he wrote became a copy team fun for reads.
but BUT when he put his mind to something there was something... nice!

now i know i can be intimidating
but i am me
this kid used to stand by my cubicle, overlooking yet always scared to step into the copy cubicle.
but then again we managed to connect.
i will never forget the one sms he sent me.
over-laden with emotion, i am his mentor & all,
and trust me i could have burst into tears.

then a few days later
he left!
dint i tell you he was there with us for just a month.
an intern he was.
the toughest we ever saw.

joooohneeeh yanada poooh
this is what he used to say to me... argh! kids!!!

anyway today like always he shares with me some really wonderful news.
winners of colisieum!
best script : 21 gun shot salute - karan shetty (orig script)

yup that's him... karan aka stud burger!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

a conflict of opinions...

I really don’t know what to do
I don’t know how to write… it differently
I tried in every possible way
I thought differently
I wrote differently
But may be I am just not good enough
I am helpless
I don’t know what to do
Who do I call out to, for help?


And like I told you
I am thinking of going back to my roots
My paintbrush
My colours
My solace

I just want to get out
Go someplace
Where people like you
Can’t pull me down
I just want to do my own thing
Or may be not
But believe me I tried

It could be my fault
I am to be blamed
It would be the right thing to do
Accept the blame
And try harder
That’s what am doing?

Is it right?
Is it wrong?

I don’t know?!
But then again
This is what I have to say to you

What To Blog On Another Person's Blog!

Well call this part 2. This is yet another person blogging on another person's blog. Now what do I write? I don't know, really. I just wanted to do this and hence!

How To Blog in another persons Blog

Step 1. Find someone who loves talking about their Blog

Step 2. Get them to access their Blog on your PC

Step 3. Make sure they forget that they have accessed it on your PC, this can be achieved by giving them work or better yet stuff them with so much food that they can't think anymore!!

Step 4. Give a step by step tutorial on 'How To Blog in another persons Blog'

do spread the word before she realizes and deletes this Post!!

Advanced Step: Change Password after confessing that the owner of this Blog is really really "Smart"!!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

am so bored

usually i find comfort in working
but off late i find working stressful

i don't know how to put this
but i am bored


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

a new languauge

these boys at work are mean
they talk in a foreign language
and i hate it
so yesterday they decided to be nice to me
and let me in on their secret lingo

here goes...(i dunno the spellings to have broken it down the way i heard it)

that's all for starters & for the love of god, DO NOT ask me what they mean!

Monday, September 15, 2008

The rAgE within!

I am fuming with rage. It’s eating me through and now you tell me to do things differently, when there’s no time to?

Where were you when I needed you?
Why din’t you help me when I asked you to?
And now you say, lets do something innovative, kick ass?! kick ass??!!!

The only kick ass thing I will be doing is KICKING YOUR ASS through and through!
#$%% in moron!

Breathe girl breathe…

when it's difficult putting into words...

Smile. Glitter. Eyes. View. Top. Hi. Attack. Food! Yummy. Water. Glitter. Bounce. Hot. Look. Hard. Talk. Pretense. Hands. Fun. Reach. Place. Aurus. Wow. Elegant. Friends. Drinks. Starters. Couples. Husband-wives. Us. Photos. Smiles. More smiles. Banter. Leave. Party.

Wada pav. Huge. Bladder bursting. Control. Juhu. Reach. Firangi Pani. Party!!! Music. Rock. Commercial music. Moves. Drink. Shake. Dance. Hugs. Enjoy. L-service. Fun. Music. Close. Photos. Friends. Smiles. Happy. Really happy.

Drive. Sleep. Radio. Singing. OMG! Amazed. Tired. Dreaming. Sleep. Home. Talks. People. Sleep. Spaced out. Wanna crash. Talk. Sleepy. Ok. Goodnight. Dream. Dream. Dream. Living. Dreaming. Happy endings.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

wall-e eva









<3 <3 <3

Friday, September 05, 2008

Some dream...

White horse. Knight in shinny armour
White horse. Knight in shinny armour
White horse. Knight in shinny armour
White horse. Knight in shinny armour
White horse. Knight in shinny armour
White horse. Knight in shinny armour
White horse. Knight in shinny armour
Yeah right!
So it remains a dream…

But then
It rains
It pours
There’s a thunderstorm…
And there’s me stranded in the downpour
And then, and then
There he is!
My knight, I see him

He pulls up the blinds
And steps out of…
an auto-rickshaw
And here he comes to save me
My hero
My knight draped in a red and blue windcheater


Monday, September 01, 2008

its been 3 years...

since i have been working here
ask me how has it been
and i will tell you it is
one helluva roller coaster ride

the high points of my career
awards, learnings, more awards, recognition, learnings...
and then there were some of the lows
struggling, learning, frustrated, hating what i was doing...
most i've been riding high,learning all the while

it was easy
cos i did what i loved to do
i learned a lot
from you, you and you

but it was also during this time
i've realised
i just cannot be diplomatic
i give my best when i have set on it
and i hate being told what to do, especially when i know it's going no where
more importantly
i've learned to be me

some people hate me for the way i am
but i just tell you things the way they are
there's no point in lying
and there's no point in doing something you do not love

so what am i still doing here
after 3 years! i ask myself
hoping to recapture
the lost days
when there was the 'u' still in the fun whilst working
hoping to find
someone to teach me something new
hoping to find
with the same dedication and support from others
hoping to see
a ray of light
hoping, hoping, hoping...

but i don't think it will happen
i think it's time
time to be the ray of sunshine
spread the light someplace else
spread my wings fly away
get away from the comfort
and face the challenges
that world presents

i am ready
i wanna break free
i want to do something different
may be i just want to get away
surround myself with...
new things
new ideas

are you listening?!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

the things we watch & sometimes wonder y?

sometimes we just want to
sometimes we wanted to
and the other times... sigh... had no reason to

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Episode 1: Mumbai – Istanbul - Rome

LOST! – 2 brown skin girls in Europe
A mini-adventure series starring me & Tan

Episode 1: Mumbai – Istanbul - Rome

Mumbai, 2;30 am IST, 10 /5/2008

I am sitting at the Mumbai International airport, immigration checks all done. And I am super excited as one can be. It is my first solo trip to Europe. It was my dream and today I am on the way to achieving it. Still got an hour and half to leave this country, so till then bear with me.

Well the evening started with a relaxed goodbye-have-a-blast-dinner at Six Degrees. For those of you who don’t know where that is, it’s at the Leela’s in Mumbai. Freaking expensive (thank God I dint have to pay for it :P), but I so enjoyed this time spent together, considering I would be away for the next 35 days without anybody stalking me :).

We then met up with the Don, and together these boys dropped me to the airport, not before we had a quick spin and grabbed some more food to eat at a Dabba. Then these boys gave me a scare of my life, saying that they forgot my bag at the hotel! Shit! They were kidding. Not funny!!!

Made our way to the airport again, got lost and found tan. So it was the goodbyes then. :( I do not like goodbyes and with my family not there to bade my bye on this super exciting journey I am about to embark on, these boys are all that I got. And, am extremely thankful for the same. Will miss u, stalker…

From here on it’s the usual shit the make you go through. And there are damn huge mosquitoes in the airport! And they are biting my brown skin.

Ok cool its time for my flight, Turkish Airlines here I come. Bye bye Mumbai!
I have no memories of my journey across the skies. I was out as cockroach, or so my buddies would say.

Istanbul Airport, Turkey, 11.15 am Turkish Time, 10 /5/2008


Tanaya sets afoot on foreign soil for the first time & … she felt cold! For all of you wondering who is Tanaya aka Tan, well she is my colleague at work and a good friend and a person who had the misfortune to be my travelling partner.

I for a matter of fact, couldn’t care less. I wanted to spot the Turkish GP circuit. My head is hurting as hell. I am super hungry, and other than freshening up, other than sleeping, all I wanna do is eat.

And amazingly I am homesick! We are trapped for the next 6 hours at Istanbul International Airport.

So with nothing better to do, we eat. I just spent some 12-11E on food!!! Everything is expensive and its not even day 1. But I am lovin’ it! And here are some lines I came up with while drowning down my lunch.

So many faces
So many different nationalities
Yet we come together in one place
Everybody has a place to go
Everybody has to destination they must reach
And then there’s me
Who wants to see
David, the Monalisa & the Sistine Chapel
as far as my eyes will allow me to see

The next few hours were spent in a blur, sitting opposite the duty-free shop and watching everyone go bye.
Ta-ta Istanbul it’s time for my connecting flight to Rome :)

Rome, Italy, 9.15 pm Italy time, 10 /5/2008

We finally made our way. After getting lost a million times! From Leonardo Da Vinci International Airport to Roma Termini, surprisingly we made our way unscratched. Finding our hotel was a task but we did it. Got help from a hot Italian guy and life was beautiful :)

Later in the evening once I freshened up and all, tan & I sat in a bar. Not a bar bar per se just a hangout joint. Anyway since we were lost finding our hotel, I got to see Rome and the living quarters side of it.

Day 1 of our trip begins…

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

when so called "best friends" act smart :(

It is a Tuesday like no other. A) because bad things happened to good people (that is me) & more importantly because I had to provide my “best friend” aka Rockstar with reasons and instances why I am truly hurt!
And to top it off he even barfed! HOW RUDE!

So over gtalk this is what happened.
And it gets ugly…
and in brackets and italic my comments :(

Here begins from A-Z

A) no party on ur promotion
B) no panda

Rockstar: god u
no TV

C) no plasma tv
D) u don't even want to meet us
E) u don't even want to meet us on friendship day

Rockstar: i dint
realise it was friendship day ok

F) u don't even reply to chats
G) u don't even try to reply to chats
H) u pretend to NOT be at ur seat

Rockstar: my god
u have lost it
go get a life

(see the steady stream of insults?? … I still pursue, broken spirit and all…)

I) u don't read my blog
J) u never comment on my blog
K) u ignore my chat messages
L) u always do
M) N then u call me ur best friend
N) U never have time for me
O) u don’t even remember my blogs name

Rockstar: listen just visit a doc before u get home

(see the attitude?!)

P) u mock me

Rockstar: feelingbluengreenyellow

Q) then you google stuff and mock me, if mockin me in the first instance wasn’t enough

Rockstar: listen chill
i need to lave fr coll

R) u tell me to chill
S) then u say you have to go
T) u lie to me

Rockstar: bye bye bye

(see the caps used, he is screaming, screaming at me!)

U) u cut my conversations
V) mock me repeatedly

Rockstar: bye

W) never do wot i ask you, unlike vice versa

Rockstar: man

X) dont even read wot i say
Y) log off & cut me off
Z) push me to killin myself

He’s gone… POOF! See I told you, nobody cares. Not even my so called best friend.

The games people play …


It’s just fine! That guys are allowed to use certain words and you are not. Being a girl means you have to be all lady like and decent and coy and whatever the society deems as respectable behaviour for the so called fairer sex?!

Ok fine its not that I am saying I walk about to create controversy, but then I do like to do my own thing.


Isn’t this a free country? So whatever happened to my right to freedom of speech?

It’s a breech on my constitutional right and I need a lawyer to fight my case. I am not going to take this lightly.

(the devil – isn’t that what they want you to o? retaliate?)
The devil has a point! FINE

FINE you want to mess with me?
I’ll show you how it’s done  “Let’s put a smile on that face...” courtesy the Joker, The Dark Knight.

See the thing is sometimes we work so hard to be something we are NOT.
But with me, I just can’t do that.
What you see is what you get.

Sometimes you grow up , but you still know what’s right for you and what’s not. I fail to understand why some people think it’s in them to judge other people.
It beats the crap out of me to be and do something just because it makes somebody else happy.

Call me selfish, call me whatever you want.
But the world is full of morons and I am not going to be mingle amongst them.

So BACK OFF & leave me alone!
I love my life just the way it is
And what you want to say, you can do so by talking to my hand.

Friday, July 25, 2008

the happening...

saturday. bored. washing. cleaning. crap. paint. nails. sleep. alarm. sleep. message. sleep. message. phone. dress. stockings. chappals. salon. hostel. room. sleep. out. pizzeria. friends. pizza. icetea. nariman point. hostel. friends. bandra. homes. movie. the dark knight. boring. super boring. cupcake. interesting. pinching. card exchange. late. back. ride. home. food. friends. banter. goodnight. dark. sleep. fun. dreams. reality. moonlight. nala. simba. dream. forest. peaks. eyes. blanket. fuzzy. tickly. smiley. crazy. silence. heavy. sleep. dreams. grip. night. morning. alarm. wink. gone.
did it happen?
was it just a dream...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


the last to last month
has taught me
that copy is not
NOT where i want to be
i don't want to be
sitting indoors
i just want to be free
free to paint
free to experiment
free to be me

the last month
i have nothing
to prove
i have been bored
bored beyond boredom
i find no inspiration
nothing that i can be proud of

the last to last month
i have gone there
i have seen that
i have achieved so much
much more than
i could have ever dreamed of
and some how
i was
very very happy
living a dream
that's what i did
and that's where
i realised
this is not
definitely NOT where i want to be!

and then there's this
and things you have to do
even when
you don't want to
but still you have to live through
on some anlaysis
on the way things
should have gone
or not
trust me, definitely NOT

the last month
the boredom crept in again
more than ever
this time on
i have been losing control
more importantly
i have not been loving
what i usually loved

the last month
i have been questioning
my thoughts, my words
my actions
and somehow i can't find
what i am looking for!

Monday, June 30, 2008

how it unfolded...

So what did I do?

Well for starters you wouldn’t want to know. And secondly I wouldn’t tell you

My birthday this year, I celebrated rather quietly. I don’t know why, but I just wanted it to be that way

So I did what I would do on any normal Saturday

Got up at 12 I think in the afternoon

And checked my mobile

And holy shit there were like a 1000 messages and missed calls

So I returned a few calls and let the rest be

Cause by then my Mama & Papa were calling me

I miss being home on my birthday

This was the fourth year I was away

May be next year the whole family will be together and you could sing me Happy Birthday

I had fun, my way

Washed half a bucket of clothes

Ate absolutely horrendous lunch

Put on a face pack, caught a wink

Before it was time to go

Well it was painful dressing up

I tried being me and even bent a nail


But there I was, as always indecisive

Shoes or sandals

Something so simple, yet I couldn’t decide till the rain played

Then you came

And my day got started

The dinner and the place, but that hardly mattered

The gifts will stay, yes they made by day

But it’s what followed that had me grinning in a crazy way

There were friends, extended family, they say

I am no one to complain

I love my birthday

And you in a very special way

I couldn't believe the day was so perfect

I thought something was going to go wrong

But I think I had my share of bargains

So God had blessed me now in a very special special way

I am not the one to pray

So trust me when I say this

Thank you Lord, for everything I had on my birthday

Thank you for my parents

Thank you for my brother

Thank you for my cat

Thank you for my cupcake

Thank you for my friends

Thank you for my extended family

Thank you for everything

For life, for love

And helping me bring a smile to each one’s face

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Friday, June 27, 2008

25! The year that was…

I remember how it started
How could I forget
I hated it
And I could not believe it
That something like that could happen to me

But now when I look back and see
I see you and see a whole different me
The experiences changed me
It put life more in perspective
And realize that life is all about me

You won’t realize how much there is out there
All you got to do is venture there
Care not what others tell you
Just trust your heart
Give it all that you’ve got
And make sure you send me a postcard when you reach there

Then came a day I just woke up
And decided I’ve had enough
Living my life according to others
Is what I’ve done all my life
Now it’s my turn and you got to listen

So I packed my bag
And decided I had to go
Go to Europe
See the world
And know what’s in store

Rewinding a little more
I even adopted a child
A grown up kid in my office if no other
A costly affair
But he’s just a little baby as far as I know

There were rock concerts too
And trips with friends
Best friends getting married
Babies being born
Yellow cars, pink watches,
Meeting new people and so much more

And then came the day I had to tell
Something to someone
Who could well be the person
I could call mine

Ever yours…
Ever mine…
Ever thine…
Something so special
That makes me feel so happy and divine

A year that brought the best in me
Challenges I thought not possible
But were meant to be
So now I know
No matter what they tell me
I simply have to believe
Because belief helped me find ME!

Sunday, June 22, 2008

what is it that you...

I really really L _ _ _ you…

Like. Lick. Leap. Land. Lamb. Lust. Leaf. Luck. Laic. Lama. Lost. Lose. Lope. Load. Live. Laud. Less. Lied. Loco. Lode. Logo. Lore. Lake. Line. Loan. Lone. Lice. Lite. Lure. Lead. Limb. Lime. Love. Lint. Loss. Loft. Lift. Lips. Loaf. Laid. Lock. Lily. Link. Long. Last. Laws. Lord. Loan. Lith. Life.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

I would like to thank...

my Mama and my Papa and my little brother Lovell aka peekachoo, MM, love, for all the support and financial backing offered. I cannot reiterate enough without whom this trip would not be successful.

I would also like to thank the Knight of Eden aka stalker, who continually supported my dream and came around me with me, haggling with vendors to get me the perfect backpack and almost all the things I need for this trip. Most of all for listening to me raving and ranting about this and that. And for teaching me to keep my cool.

Mostly I would love to say a big thank you to animagix to showing me the way. For making me realize my dreams. And I must say dreams do come true. Thanks a ton sweetie. You are my true inspiration.

I would also like to thank the Don, for offering to drive me to the airport and the Khooni Haathi for coming along with me to get my travel insurance. I would also like to thank the goddess of Nirvana for getting me contacts in them foreign countries.

And I would also like to thank Cox & Kings (I) Ltd., Mumbai for all the help and fantastic support offered, especially Mr. Mehere.

And then yatin, and my boss for giving me this super 1 month leave, my team members (you guys are so dead :) ) and all the people on who had something or other to do with my preparations.

Thanks a ton guys!

I’ll keep ya posted how its going.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008


I am. You know who I am!

You know how I am. I live life as it comes. No rules. No definitions. I just do my own thing. I live in the moment, ‘cos that’s the way I am.

What I hate are charts and rules. I know what I want and it’s in my head. I do not need to define it on paper or have it staring at me pinned on a wall.

And I absolutely hate wasting money. I would rather spend money on good food than wasting it. Just the thought of doing so makes me mad.

I have had no shortage of the luxuries in life, but I do not flaunt it.

All said and done, I am blogging to get my irritation out.

Blogging helps me in ways I can't even tell you. I call it my “Blogressphy” (as in you know, Blog + Stress Therapy)

And I absolutely hate it when my plans get postponed. Things just don’t happen. You have to ALWAYS make them happen.

I am going to make this happen!

I will do what it takes… kicking your ass too, if I have to.

So stand out of my way.

Cos I am an angry young woman today.

Monday, May 05, 2008

a DREAM that's coming true

u know there comes a time in your life
when you got to do what you got to do
here i am
doin just that

for the record
i do not have a lot of money
actually i planned this dream trip on 60k finances of my own
rather ambitious no?
and the rest... a lakh and something from my folks and brother
so that goes to say
after this trip of mine
i will be even poorer than before
and paying off a lot of debts :(
and to top it off am not on a huge salary at work (i so wish i were getting some 50-60K a month)

like i said this is a dream
a dream i dreamt
and i had to make it come true
before the clock struck 12 on 28th June 2008!!!

so here i am, in 4 days leaving for EUROPE!

yup u heard me right E U R O P E

i will tell you all about it in the weeks that go by
well i will be leaving on friday/saturday night in the wee hours of the morning
so my posts might not be very regular
but I promise to update you on each and every detail on tour

this people is MY LIFE CANT WAIT DREAM!
mine and mine alone

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

am i hearing right?

my brother likes the bloody americans?
and their freaking country???

OMG the aliens have repalced my brothers brains!


Saturday, April 26, 2008

About Today

It is Saturday
I need to go to work
But I don’t complain

The journey took long
Today there’s no music, no books
Nothing to grab my attention
But you

The faces go by
Hoards of advertisings hits me
And suddenly I realize
I just cannot see…
More of the blue skies
More of the birds
More of you

Then it’s different
It always is
Watching that smile
Watching that stride
Just watching you

There was something different today
There was you
And then there was me
There was no reason
There we were, just friends you say
Having fun, if you may

So I am a drama queen
So I love walking
So I say, you must get the hoarding
And so I tell you a million things

I know you listen
I know you see
I know I am in the picture, somewhere
Is it black and white?
Is it coloured?
But, I know there’s something in there bigger than me

With me goodbyes are never easy
I hate them, cos I will be lonely
I have no one to go home to
It’s my choice, but still…
I hate letting go, cos I will have to wait one day more

Thursday, April 10, 2008

competition for a christmas tree

so today was one of those days that i went tinsel shopping.
there's a christmas party happening in the summer.
and yes i am being sarcastic.
really sarcastic.
so as i was saying.
i went shopping.
and i bought jewelery.
in red and blue and gold.
ear rings.
in matching sets.
a bracelet.
yeah that was it.
thats to add onto the christmas tree outfit that i am supposed to wear.
or i might just end up looking poor.
and my mom would kill me if i try pulling such a stunt.
you see it's this gala mega event of the summer season happening.
a wedding.
a punju wedding.
and as much as i screamed "it aint my wedding."
i still need to be a christmas tree.
deck the tree with bows of holly.
fa la la la la la.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Can I CRY?

I don’t know what is wrong with me
Yesterday and today

I am feeling like…
Running away

Suddenly I am missing…
My Mama
My Papa
Tommy Leanne
My Peekacho (love you bro)

I am feeling like…

I am…
Fed up
Listening to senti music
Not eating
Losing interest
Lost in thought

I wonder…
What I want to do
If I can live without you
Where my life is leading
When I will get to walk down the aisle (this time not as a bridesmaid!)
When I will have my triplets

I no longer know…
What to do
What to say
How to behave
Where to go

What am I looking for?
Is it something?
Is it someone?
Is it someplace?
Is it just me?

I just want to CRY!

Can I Cry?

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Wot a freaky day it was…

For the record I am sloshed!
Even so I can write and in all my senses I state that the below words are true to the best of my knowledge.

So the day begins…
8.55 am. Cussing for forced to being rudely awoken up by the alarm, a good 40 mins later than usual!
Then do my rituals and go to pick up my travel insurance papers.
Ok so there I am and I am NOT going to take off my shoes this time. Bloody hell after I spent a good 5 mins double-knotting my converse I don’t think unknotting them is worth the effort.
So after picking my papers, begins the debate…

10:05 am. Bus or train. Bus or train. Bus or train. Train? Train? Yup train wins. So I decide to walk to the station (I could lose some weight & save Rs. 13 too). Today being the first of April and the beginning of the next financial year I decide its high time I save up something & do so by saving up on the little things.

10:45 am. I am so late for work and out of money. So I go to the ATM to collect some cash. Sigh, my balance does not look good, it has never!

Then it’s the usual… boring mundane work… client servicing guys breathing down your neck… deadlines to be met… unrealistic commitments, etc etc.

12:50 pm. My book is here! Thank god. I was stuck in a brain dead brainstorming session. But am glad, my ‘Europe on a shoestring budget’ from the Lonely Planet is finally in my hands.

1:15 pm. Even better news. Moni is here!!! (for all those who don’t know Moni, she’s my best girlfriend, and she got married recently, so am really glad she is back even if it is for a few days)

Day continues… boring… b… o… r… i… n… g!

7:00 pm. Yatin calls. Yeap am so ready to meet ya. Only waiting for this boy.

7:35 pm. China something. Ok fine! I forgot the name. Nothing new!! Anyways we meet up. Yatin, me and the boy who cannot be named. :)
And this evening turned out to be the best thing that I could have ever asked for. Why you ask me?
Cos here I two really important people in my life ganging up on me. I am not complaining mind you. I had fun. Well they did get me to confess a lot of things. But I meant every word of it.
Its scary you know. And they knew it. I know.
They could see right through me.
But for the second time in my life, I laid what I had to right in front of the people that mattered and I hope they knew it too.

9:40 pm. I am having a panic attack. Where’s the bill? Where is it damnit! I just got some 40 mins to get back before the gates close.

9:48 pm. Sigh! The bill is cleared. Thanks a ton again Yatin! I owe you man… I really owe you. Not for picking the bill but for being there for me. For giving me your blessings, and for simply kicking my ass. (you are one of the privileged few who have this honour)

9:51 pm. Am in a cab after saying bye to Yatin. “Am really happy for you!” (touch wood… so am I)
Also after saying bye to the boy who cannot be named I am off home or to the prison I live in 

10:19 pm. I walk in the prison gates. And rudely they close the gates after me.

10:45 pm. Sleeping on my bed… staring at the ceiling, wondering if I am really stoned?! Suddenly I feel this need to blog. Out comes my laptop and the words flow…

11:20 pm. Bath break, for some insane reason I decide to have a steaming hot bath in the summer. I am still wondering why?

11:40 pm. Out of bath and back blogging.

11:56 pm. Done! Now I know what I had to say got said. I am happy today :)

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

It’s finally hitting me!

Deep breaths I say to myself!
Am I really going to be doing this?
Yes I am... I am scared I won’t lie
But I am super excited and still you don’t know why!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Live By It

We believe in going our own way
No matter which way the rest of the world is going
We believe in bucking the system that built to smash individuals like bugs on a windshield
Some of us believe in the man upstairs
All of us believe in sticking it to the man down here
We believe in the sky
And we don’t believe in the sunroof
We believe in freedom
We believe in dust, tumbleweeds, buffalo, mountain ranges and riding off into the sunset
We believe in saddlebags and we believe that cowboy’s had it right
We believe in refusing to knuckle-under to anyone
We believe in wearing black
Because it doesn’t show any dirt
Or weakness
We believe the world is going soft
Then we are not going along with it
We believe in motorcycle rallies that last a week
We believe in roadside attractions, gas stations, hot dogs and finding out what’s over the next hill
We believe in rumbling engines, pistons the size of garbage cans
Fuel tanks designed in 1936
Freight train sized headlights, chrome and custom paint
We believe in flames and skulls
We believe life is what you make it
And we make it one hell of a ride
We believe the machine you sit can tell the world exactly where you stand
We don’t care what everyone else believes

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

why my mommy will love me more now :P

me: brother
peekachoo: yo
me: wot happened abt the concert '
hw was it?
peekachoo: great
bloggin about it
u will see it soon
me: k
12:31 AM me: told ma?
peekachoo: no
me: can i tel her
peekachoo: no later
spoke to her from blore
just when it got over
me: why?
peekachoo: she ddnt know
she called
shel say i went w/o tellin
me: i know she told me
so cool no
12:32 AM i want to be the most loved child
can i tell??
peekachoo: ah in that case
be my guest
i got a bad rep to maintain
me: u took d back row ??
12:33 AM peekachoo: no u nut.. no rows
i was there live in the moshpit
right in the centre
almost got killed
me: but thats so behind
peekachoo: u dnt dare take ur phone out to click pics in the moshpit u moron
me: y?
peekachoo: those pics are of the indian bands
12:34 AM coz it may get trashed
its not a celine dion concert
me: ur pics r hilarious
peekachoo: i know
i got tlaent
me: yah hello i went to a rock concerts too
u not the only one
12:35 AM peekachoo: this is metal concert
u moron
12:36 AM me: yeah
so did i go to
12:38 AM u bubblebuster
i am goin to tell mama wot u did
peekachoo: tell..
i watched megadeth from
was in the moshpit for machinehead
show mama a moshpit video on youtube
me: good
enjoy d last of ur happy moments
12:39 AM b4 i become the favoured child
peekachoo: yeah .. il take a flight to norway and start a black metal band
me: i will tell her when i go home
peekachoo: pronounced blaaak mettaaal
12:40 AM tell..
me: i will
peekachoo: tattletale
12:41 AM me: nnananananan
peekachoo: whatever
________________________________________ 7 minutes
12:49 AM me: bye
going to sleep
& i am goin to tell ma
12:50 AM peekachoo: ok

why formula 1 is just not about...


ok i know i am a ferrari fan but sometimes you just can help and appreciate the beauty of the sport

here's why...

well for my team, it was a not so good start. but i know they will pick up the gear as the year rolls out!

Monday, March 17, 2008

another one... LOL


sometimes you see something and know you just have to blog about it!
well this is one of those times.

For the record I am shocked, but the sadistic person that i am, well i just loved it!!!
and hope you do too

click on the link in your browser to view it. Trust me u need to see it!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

it was about... not me!

At times like these… I wish
At times like these… I wish I could
At times like these… I wish I’d never stop dancing!

Sometimes life’s unfair. I feel like a dot in this world, and God forgot about me.
I have my dreams, I have a wish, I long for something, someone…
But I know I must go on, I must be strong

Today is different
Today is not about me
Today is about my best girlfriend and her D-day
Today is all about her in every single way

She looked pretty would be an understatement of the century
She looked gorgeous and happy
She looked content
And why shouldn’t she?
She has her man by her side today!

I wish them luck
I wish them happiness
I wish them everything they want
I wish them on their wedding day as I smile and walk away…

This post is for a very special friend, angel, confidant, who goes by the name of Monisha. ‘Moni’ all the best for a life of fun and adventure with your man Salil. :)

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

there's a reaon why i love my brother...

and this is it.

"Yo.. Me goin to bengaLOOru for the Megadeth/Machinehead concert. Will be there from 13-15th of this month..

Don't tel the folks, they'l get hyper 4 no reason..

Incase i die enroute or get killed in a moshpit den let the folks kno i died a martyr.

Ur nominee of all my bank accounts so ul be rich. N my company will give you a nice price for my dead body, so collect that and go for world tour..

Ah, and last bury me in the old hall n play EMPTY WORDS by DEATH for my funeral..

And tell my female fan following not to resort to suicide incase i die..


And incase i dnt die, i'l bring u back a smelly metal tshirt."

I love you too peeku, love, MM, baby brother!
and happy headbanging _\m/ metal rules

Friday, February 15, 2008

red it was!

let me tell you a story of this girl i know.

ok one thing was sure, so she tells me was that she was so not expecting this.
yah i do know that she has always been vocal about the things she wants.
i mean, god damnit, she does make it a point to tell anyone who asks what she wants, exactly what she wants.
so when she actually got what she wanted, man so she tells me... it was a whole different story.

so let me tell you how it went...

the build up to this day -- yeah! Duh, valentine's day... i am not a fan of that moron flying around in his chuds, but ok sometimes a girl's got to do, what a girl's got to do!

So there she was bugging her best friends, guys, mind you! to well, get her a diamond ring... sigh! and yeah she did ask another best friend (in her best friend list numbered umm... 1?!) to well get her a bunch of 25 roses. i know it sounds stupid & cliched, but yes this girl always wanted a bunch of roses from a guy.

now picture this.
there she is out for dinner with her best friend and there on the table sits this absolutely amazing and fabulous bunch of flowers, which she so ignored cause they dint have her name on them! damn!
and then this best friends no. 1 says they are for her...
which i know she dint hear cause at that point of time she was doing like a 100 different things... texting someone, arranging the cutlery on the table, dumping her bag, arranging her jacket and also mentally running for President!
so in her defense i say she din't hear best friend no. 1 announce the fact that the bunch of roses were for her.
till he had to scream the fact!

i swear she had an oprah moment! OMG! this was absolutely fabulous!!!
she was shocked, beyond shocked! amazed more likely that someone actually got her something she always dreamed about.
ok so to others it might have appeared that this girl was not that blown away, but trust me this girl stole secret glances at them roses and had to do all that was possible on not having this stupid grin plastered over her face :)

now i do know this girl is so damn impulsive and acts 99.9% without thinking. so guess what this girl does? she damn right takes the bouquet and starts counting the number of roses, much to the horror of best friend no. 1!
i think the girl should be forgiven for this action, cause i know how much she dint mean to. it was more out of shock that led this girl to act like well.... her?

anyway what's even more amazing is that she gets an even special gift.
wrapped in this crunched paper, resting in this bag is -- a sexy red top from Mango!
trust me this girl would have never ever picked such an item from the racks.
and guess what she looked amazing in it!
so much so that she could not believe that the pretty lady in red was her.

i know she was all ga-ga over this. she has told me this story at least a million times today. damn i had to listen every time! what to do? i am the twin that never was.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The trouble with best-friends…

Is that they are great! So much so no matter how much you wanna hate them for their guts you still can’t! So let me present to you my take on why I hate my best friends – the Stalker, Rockstar & Don -- as much as I love them.

The Rockstar

Ok this guy is a jerk. Trust me, no one can be a true moron than this one. And that’s what makes him my best friend. Well, for starters we don’t a reason to fight! Anything and everything can turn into an argument… a word, an action, or something you dint do or maybe it’s something that some else did that actually triggered things off! Well then there are things in common – like F1, and rock music. Ok! So he may not be that bad.

The Stalker!

Ok here’s a guy, as the name suggests is known to know always what I am doing! How he does it, I do not know. I think he has cameras hidden around me. But genuinely this man is nice specie, and the king of perversity! According to him, what I have come to realize is that every word has a double meaning. Every damn f*&^ing word. Oh may be it happens only when I say it!

What you don’t know about this man is that he loves babies and is fully house-trained, grocery shopping household chores, you name it! In short, excellent marriage material. (Girls wanting his number, leave a message on this post  )

The Don

Now here is someone who I can stay has stuck by me in troubled times and dint ever ask for a reason. Yah he is highly erratic in nature. We go long periods without communication, but boom one fine day we are catching up the night away! Frankly speaking I do not understand him like the other two, but that’s what makes him, him. Should I forget to miss call him once I reach home, I have a huge lecture coming my way. Duh! Even my mom stopped doing that! And this man doesn’t ever miss an opportunity to yell at my random behaviour.

So as you see, one stalks me, the other one fights with me and the other other one gives me a ear full at every given opportunity! God damnit, suddenly my life seems complete.

But you know what, these guys are awesome! I know they would do anything for me… like put their hand out while am trying to cross the road. Or I can even throw one of them into traffic to get them to clear the way for me (ha ha … stalker… it was unintentional) Or I can just call up anyone at any weird time and still get them to talk to me.

Yah and I can still rely on these morons to call me fat any day! And treat me like a guy, no matter how much trouble I took to look pretty  (I am not complaining … just stating the facts)

All said and done, I think I deserve a diamond ring from these guys, don’t you think?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

The story of a 'ME'

Part I

Once upon a time there was a me. A me that was born into a happy home in a small little town on one rainy June morning. Considering that this me was the first caesarian baby in the hospital, you could only image the apprehension surrounding the birth of me. So here was a first time mommy, covered with chicken pox, crying out in labour cause the child refused to come out for almost a week. Hey you could’nt blame the me!? Could you? All cozy inside mommy.

So finally the time had come, me came into the world. Yeah thank you, you SOB (the doctor) for waking me so rudely. Duh! Upside down and slapped on me’s butt!!!! Hello! What was he thinking? Anyway after a yelling session, me was finally handed to me’s mommy. It felt so good. Cozy cozy.

Yeah events surrounding the birth of me? Well, the new Mama and the Papa were ecstatic! But the paternal grandma, sighed that the me was a girl! A girl!!! Like that made the me any less a human.

So from there, the me went home. Christened a Catholic.Yeah thanks for pouring some cold water on my head u freak! (that’s the priest) Yeah all that the me could think about was, why doesn’t any bloody person in this new world allow the me to sleep! If it weren’t for the hundreds of relatives pinching the me, it were the other thousand who came to coo over the me, who dint ever miss an opportunity to pinch or pull the me’s cheeks.

Me’s childhood passed in blur… till one fine day, the me had to share my mommy with another you! The you was well, fat, chubby and a boy! A boy? A boy? Did someone say a boy? YES! It was a boy. Now don’t get me wrong, the me loved the you. At least now the me was left alone and not ogled at, at every opportunity.

As the me grew up, the me went to pre-school, yup, the youngest in the class at age 2. Then as life progressed the me was shuttled off to school. In Goa and Muscat, then back in Goa. Damn why did the me’s parents decide to come back. The me loved the school in Muscat. Goa was an all girls school! Damn where were the boys. Anyways, me was tortured here for some six years before, me joined studying with the opposite sexes again. Phew! There’s so much learn… (wink)

To be continued…

Saturday, January 12, 2008

heart in my mouth!

Sometimes in life you wonder if…
What you do will change not only yours but someone else’s life.
Sometimes in life, you wonder if…
You should say what you want to say.
Sometimes in life, you wonder if…
Taking that chance will pay off?!
Sometimes in life, you wonder if...
Sharing what’s in your heart, will make all the difference.

I am scared.
Scared of many a things.
Scared of taking a chance again.
Scared of hurting not only mine but some else’s feelings.

What if this person means the world to you?
What if this person you know would do anything for you?
What if you can see your happiness reflect in their eyes?
What if?

You got to take a chance.
You got to get hurt, so they say.
Suddenly am not too sure.
Not of my feelings, but I would never want to hurt,
Not only myself, but the most important person in life either.

So how do I do this?
How do we share something special?
Without spoiling something that we have?
What do I do?
What do I say?

The angst is killing me!
But I've got to say this.
I might be totally wrong…
God help me!
I hope I am not!!!
I really need this in my life.
A reason to smile again,
I really want to smile again. :)
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