Thursday, April 26, 2007

When everybody tries to play cupid!

See the thing is or should I say the universal undisputable fact is that no one I mean NO ONE can see you single!
No one believes you when you say that you are happy being single!

What follows are looks that decode as her/his life is so sad that they can’t even find a mate! Hence begins the intrusion in your life. Totally uncalled for and offered absolutely free of cost.

The guilty parties: Parents, aunties, far distant relatives you’ve not even heard of, colleagues, and even friends.

See I believe friends have a valid reason trying to hook you up. After all it helps being “even” in a group. Or whatever weird reason they try to sell to you. Hence my first “Case Study.”

Case Study 1: I thought you two would hit off!
Actually I met this dude before once. He was a mutual friend and the other dude thought what a better way to get my friends together.
Get together did we for coffee. Considering the fact that I was too polite to say no to a Million Dollar Chocolate Brownie which I drowned with water, and he never anticipated anyone being so nice as me.
It was an evening rigged to the core!
Till today I wonder how I could have been so cultured! Bet my Mama would be proud of me. Other than that, when we look back it brings great memories.
Sad for my friend his match making maiden venture dint take off!

Case Study 2: There’s this boy…
It all begins with those three deadly words. “There’s this boy, he’s doing excellently in life. Good job, has a home of his own. Why don’t you meet him?”
Next thing you know is that you’ve been tricked to seeing this moron!
This example runs rampant with all those relatives you so much want to kill.

Case Study 3: Right place, wrong time.
Why am I here? My friend told me to meet her here and now she’s running late. Phew! That bitch! You’re fuming sitting wondering how long you would have to wait.
Then the most fantastic specimen of the opposite sex materializes in front of you. (ok so I smile) A light bulb goes off – I’ve been duped!
Never mind at least the company is not bad. So just when the conversation picks up, the bitch turns up. Stupid reasons are offered. Like I don’t know I’ve been set up.

See these are just 3 reasons I could offer why you need to beware of all those harmless matchmakers, somebody please tell them its called “invasion of privacy!”

But who cares?

The saga continues…

Monday, April 23, 2007

Ok here’s the plan…

I just realized how difficult it is for girl these days to find a decent boy and me being me decided to dish out some absolutely FREE advice.

What you are about to read is purely aimed at making you feel like the world’s biggest loser. Get a life you moron there are much better things to do than reading my crap!

You don’t listen do you? Sigh… Anyway let me humour you. Note, this is written solely to give you some cheap thrills.

Remember that cute guy who used to sit behind you in college. Well too bad for you but even then he had a girl.
What’s with you, move on you dumb ass. He dint find you cute then, he won’t find you cute now! (You’ve aged dear)

Stop staring and do something!
Men being men won’t do a thing. They are as scared of you as you are of them. Come on move on.

Ditch every guy your mom finds you.
They are not what they seem. Neither are you. Find a moron you knows and loves you for being you, not some weird character moms chalked out.

Get your best friend to…You know marry you. (Guy best friend that is!) Unless you’re like me and have 3 best guy friends, then you have a problem coming your way. Remember, the movie, My Best Friend’s Wedding… suggest you have a backup plan!

Drug him.
Not too much. Just enough to get him unconscious and then you can have your wicked way with him. If you still can’t manage that. Go kill yourself.
(Ways to do so can be found in my yet to released book titled 101 ways to suicide!--TM registered)

Or just use the clich├ęd route, “I am going to be the mother of your child.”
But dear please at least make sure you have unsafe sex first! And sob pathetically later!

Ok and if you are still wondering the reason of this article, keep thinking ‘cos you won’t find one.

I never found it. And neither would you.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Take care my friend, that’s all I could say…

Yesterday could have been any ordinary day.
A day that went by without having you or me having anything to say.
But it was just not some ordinary day.
It was a day that only a friend could sense a loss in a heartfelt and true way.

I never thought life would bring this day by my side so soon.
I guess you too never thought God would take someone you loved away from the midst of us by the noon.
Guess we never anticipated the pain.
All I could do was watch as my friend bleed in silence but not in vain.

I always thought a loss would be just a loss.
But now I know better, cause I sat in trance the whole day.
Not knowing what to do or what to say?
Why? Because, I can only imagine what my best best best friend went through, fighting the pain, the soreness and heart wrenching ache.
Not forgetting the family who couldn’t stop Gods plan for the day.

No words will suffice; nothing will ever feel the same.
Nothing can replace a loved one, especially when that person is your dad.
All I know is that I will always be there,
Should you ever need a hug,
Someone to talk to,
Or a smile to brighten your day.

As a tear rolls down my face,
For a father of a best friend,
I know not what to say,
Cause for a short period I knew him,
he came across the best in every single way.

I can’t do anything to bring him back.
So sorry this had to happen to you and your family.
But what I can do is be by your side,
should you need me in any way.

P.S: These few but sincere and heartfelt words are dedicated to my best best best friend’s dad who passed away very suddenly on this day - 11 april 2007.

May eternal light shine on him and may his soul rest in peace. Amen.
And may God give my best best best friend the strength to carry on and be the support to his family in every way. Amen.
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