Love Sunday

New tee designs. Model: Mihir

From moleskin art

From moleskin art

These last few weeks
I simply hate
Nothing seems to come of it
But only working late

The love has gone
Now it’s simply hate
I don’t love what I do
You cannot force me to change my decision
But it’s true

I want to go
This is the end for me
That I know!

nlm u world

blank blank blank

i am so bored i am so bored so super bored my mind is spinning in boredom don't know what to do how to get away from this cyclonic storm that is pulling me under i try to read but i know that's not what i want to do i want to be out there explore new places simply get away from this crappy stuff i am so bored i want to paint i want to take out my frustrations doing something i love how did things get this way how did i let anything else but my passion stand in my way this is not me this has never been me i am lost i know what i want yet i am lost there's no one to help me but myself most of the days it's like simply following a pattern since when did i become one to follow something anything anyone i hate this i really hate it and with the rain coming down i think i will drown who is there to help me there were days when crazy was good freak was good now it's like watching from the shadows am i going through a mid 20s crisis after all i will be 28 soon what have i done with my life there's so much to do and so little time i don't want to do everything that everyone does i just don't want to do it can't you understand i hate it i detest it so much that it rips the insides of me every time i have to do it how much longer do i have to wait there's no option you say things will improve give it some time well i don't want to give it any time why should i what should i do instead just watch life pass me by well one of these days i am not going to wait much longer i am just going to do what i do best i am going to follow my heart and screw all of you i am going after my dream and there's no telling me what to do.

Empty dreams

From moleskin art

If...

 

If I were
YOU
(fugly)
I would shoot
MYSELF

Swishing her tail in heaven

Today my cat, my baby went away to cat kitty heaven. Tommy Leanne as she was so fondly called, was more than just a cat to me or us. She was family and will always be.


Here’s to Tommy Leanne D’souza

Missing you
I cannot remember when the last time was
I went home and you were not there
Meowing, vying for my love
Till I gave you all

I know you lived more than a full life
But I still wish you enjoyed more
But I now know you are free

Thank you Tommy for:
Listening to all my heartbreak stories
Silently understanding things that no one else did
Being my best friend, always sticking by my side
Never complaining
Having them ready-to-heal licks
Letting me rub your belly
Letting the little ones - Luanne, faith, Nathan pull your ears and tail
Always finding an excuse to rub yourself against me
Being my flower-cat at my wedding
Accepting Bonnie into the family
All the happy memories


Love you baby! Rest in peace.

Re-Skinned Nokia

 

 

another day

Zzz. Beep! Snooze. Damn. Hurry. Motion. Repeat. Stop. Play. Think. Forward. Pause. F&%$. Ouch. Blur. Stop. Caffeine. Play. Shut. Refill. Wash. Plonk. Zzz.

sayin it the way it is

Are you from the f@%#ing advertising industry?
You bet f@%#ing I am!
Now is that f@%#ing good, or is that f@%#ing bad?
What am I supposed to f@%#ing make of it?!
Who f@%#ing cares anyway?

F@%#ing rule number 1:
Your success in advertising will depend on the f@%#ing number of times you can use the word f@%# without having the next person react to it!

Now what is f@%#?
Urban dictionary defines it as. (f@%# Oxford or Webster’s!)
1. The universally recognized "F word"
2. N. Implying complete and utter confusion
3. N. a really stupid person
4. V. To procreate
5. adj. Can be used to modify any word for more passion
6. Int. Expresses disgust
7. Int. Expresses complete surprise and joy
8. adv. Can be used to make a command more urgent

Make a note this people. F@%# is the only word in the English language that can form a grammatically complete, stand alone sentence.
In your face F@%#ers

Or like how… I would normally say it DUMBF@%#s! (rolling my eyes)

Her again!

She sat there again
Sheltered from the rain
Playing with a stick
And shivering like wick
Lost in a world of her own
And no place to call home

So old
So frail
A mean world
Who threw her out
When there was
Nothing to gain

a little money, a lot of heart

An old man
An old lady
Across each other
Hunched over heels

One for you
One for me
One for you
One for me

A rupee that you threw at me

There was so little
And eyes filled with pain
A heart full of despair
An a day without a grain

Transfixed I sat
Chilled to the core
My heart went out
But I could do no more

just yesterday

It was just yesterday that I was a little girl
All I had to do was play
Today I am not so little anymore but…
I just want to play in the mud
With my imaginary friends
Eat dirt.
Eat chocolates.
Get pampered.
And go out to play again.
Want to stitch clothes for my dollies.
Pretend to ride my papa’s scooter.
Play with my baby brother.
Dress him up and pretend he was my little sister.
I want my drawings adorning the fridge door.
I want a treat from grandma.
I want to play with my Barbie’s.
Also want to rob tamarind from grandma’s store room.
Fight with my cousins and go tell mama.
Not make any decisions.
Tell mama what my brother did.
I want to play with Tommy.
I just want to be that little girl.

Stuck!

In the wrong profession.
And hate it with a growing passion every single day.

do u c what i c?

It goes like this

I am sleepy
No matter how much I sleep
I just never seem to be sleeping enough
After full nights sleep
I am still sleepy
I doze away in the train
I doze in the rick to office
The next few hours pass in a blur
Have coffee
And more coffee
But still am sleepy
What to do
I think I just need a shot or something
I just need something to take me off this sleep

the tuesday

i got up late
my last months of doing my own thing
so am making the most of it

ordered for lunch
noodles & chilli garlic chicken
yummy

wash my clothes
clean my room
clean the closet
throw away a lot of thrash

pack my bags to go home
by home i mean goa
this will be my last christmas
as a dsouza
and the last christmas at home :(

start reading by 4 in the afternoon
soon i start to doze off
phone rings at 5.30
drowsy i have no clue what's said
i hear a bye, will call you later
ok cool
am off to sleep again

wake up at 6.30
keep my bucket for bath
cleanse myself
start to do some crochet

time for dinner
yikes lousy food
disgusted
still eat a little
banish myself to my room

crochet again
speak to bon
wall-e wall-e
speak to mama
keep crocheting

10.25 the bell rings
lights out
damn
i go out
crotchet again
talk to bon

oh god
its time for oprah
bye will call you later

12.30 am
hello
sleeping?
ok bye
am off to sleep too

on sunday...

i was introduced to a lot of extended family as the "lady i will be marrying"
weird.
wonderful.
swinging between emotions.

i guess will just have to get used to it!
hey! i am not complaining.

just indians afterall!

sometimes we need a reminder,
a reminder to bring us back,
back to who we are,
and where we belong.

i am not a mumbaikar,
i am not a north-indian,
i am not just another person,
i am an indian, and that's what makes me!

i am known for not being too patriotic,
but then you can't really blame me,
but should someone question the integrity of men
sacrificing their lives for our brotheren,
you will damn right have to answer to me.



i salute all those men - marcos, nsg, the police
& innocent people who have lost their lives.

change happened!

it did
finally
and i am
so glad
it did

change is good
change is different
change is scary
change is nice
change is skeptical
change is new

and change is
something
i should have
dome long time back!