Delusions...

At times like these I feel like a total failure
Though no fault of my own
I wonder what and where I went wrong
A question to myself
With no answer I know will help
Am I angry?
Damn right I am
But am not going to blame you
It would have been nice if you would help
My eyes they say always have a story to tell
If you were listening
You would have seen the desperation and the sheer hell!

Crochet Centerpiece

I did. I did. :)

nlm u world

when CS do their job :P

so once upon a time we go for a meeting and like all meetings it's pure bullshit except this time one CS person decided to yak more, neither he gave us a chance. here's how the session unfolded.

DISCLAIMER: while the events may be true, any lawsuits will not be entertained in a court of law.

blank blank blank

i am so bored i am so bored so super bored my mind is spinning in boredom don't know what to do how to get away from this cyclonic storm that is pulling me under i try to read but i know that's not what i want to do i want to be out there explore new places simply get away from this crappy stuff i am so bored i want to paint i want to take out my frustrations doing something i love how did things get this way how did i let anything else but my passion stand in my way this is not me this has never been me i am lost i know what i want yet i am lost there's no one to help me but myself most of the days it's like simply following a pattern since when did i become one to follow something anything anyone i hate this i really hate it and with the rain coming down i think i will drown who is there to help me there were days when crazy was good freak was good now it's like watching from the shadows am i going through a mid 20s crisis after all i will be 28 soon what have i done with my life there's so much to do and so little time i don't want to do everything that everyone does i just don't want to do it can't you understand i hate it i detest it so much that it rips the insides of me every time i have to do it how much longer do i have to wait there's no option you say things will improve give it some time well i don't want to give it any time why should i what should i do instead just watch life pass me by well one of these days i am not going to wait much longer i am just going to do what i do best i am going to follow my heart and screw all of you i am going after my dream and there's no telling me what to do.

If...

 

If I were
YOU
(fugly)
I would shoot
MYSELF

Of late I’ve been:
filing my nails every 4 hours,
making faces at the computer,
staring at the black ball in front of me,
ogling at the ugly guy for no good a reason,
e-stalking people (some who I don’t even know),
typing then retyping the same thing over again,
spinning my wedding ring,
having the sudden urge to fight global warming,
scratching the lamp post,
making a death wish,
making a list of all the people (in my case clients) I would like kill,
eavesdropping,
uttering curses and profanities at the clock,
realizing facebook is so superficial,
wondering why people sitting next to each other tweet instead of talking,
stare at my phone wishing it would ring,
hating my phone when it rings,
wondering what Suri is up to today,
contemplating what’s in store on gofugyourself today,
starting things and not completing them,
infected with boredom!

A conversation - A Bride-to-be and her Son...

kiddo: hows my mommy

me: excited
how u doin
lil bo y

kiddo: now i'm little boi...
great...

Me: oh god delvin
seriously r u on dope
is werner makin u do stuff

kiddo: hahhaa

Me: BTW u can thank me for the extra room in our new house
u can come stay with us
thank u very much wud be appropriate
:|

kiddo: thanks...
so for the wedding i don't have to hunt for accommodation...

Me: no u dont

kiddo: and after u guys av a place i get my own room
yay...

Me: yes
wot col do u want me paint it?

kiddo: bluegreenyellow
:)

Me: ok

Me: one ground rule tho

kiddo: also i would like it furnished with a water bed...72" lcd tv...PS3 with 5.1 JBL surround sound...
and the room should be sound proof
also one punching bag with 2 sets of gloves...

Me: all that u can with ur own money

kiddo: yup my own money that my mommy jo will give me...

Me: plus no girls allowed for sleepovers

kiddo: so wot the rule?
k kewl...

Me: no girls allowed for sleepovers

kiddo: will make sure they don't sleep...
hehhehehehe

Me: or if they there ur door needs to be kept open or u both sit in the hall

kiddo: hmm the hall sounds like fun...
not too kewl wit ppl watchin me...while i'm entertaining my lady friends...

Me: oh u'll have ur great grandparents watchin ur every move too
this is gonna be so much fun

kiddo: well i don't mind givin em tips...
but showing them wot to do is jus a little beyond me...

Me: eeeks
jeez
WTF

kiddo: hahahaa

Me: i c u r gettin worse sitting there
u need a good whopping

That phase again

Where I feel lost
Don’t know what I am doing
Don’t see where I am going
Can’t really figure out
Where I am headed

May be I just need time

i did

my kids & my cats

sudi

colour. color.

Bonnie

Amanda

tanaya

gaurang

varun

Insane conversations…

Parag: Buon Giorno Principessa
Me: atto Buon Giorno Principessa marifinanga
Parag: naka naka....me tujya saathi assach manhalo...
Me: didi saaa limi yaaaang
Parag: didimazi ghari aahe...
Me: kilanadu jiingati
aver aver ni cheee
Parag: tu mulund yenaar teva tula
Me: aeeete na lukar
Parag: aaaateee kaam kara
Me: meeeeteeee zaaaathongi
Parag: :)

a new languauge

these boys at work are mean
they talk in a foreign language
and i hate it
so yesterday they decided to be nice to me
and let me in on their secret lingo

here goes...(i dunno the spellings to have broken it down the way i heard it)
puri-mo-neeh
chor
my-reh
one-g
kai-ra-meen
mala-poo-deh
maaan-ga
aaaah-pol
baaaa-lah

that's all for starters & for the love of god, DO NOT ask me what they mean!