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the last to last month
has taught me
that copy is not
NOT where i want to be
i don't want to be
sitting indoors
typing
thinking
i just want to be free
free to paint
free to experiment
free to be me

the last month
i have nothing
to prove
i have been bored
bored beyond boredom
i find no inspiration
nothing that i can be proud of

the last to last month
i have gone there
i have seen that
i have achieved so much
much more than
i could have ever dreamed of
and some how
i was
very very happy
exploring
living a dream
that's what i did
and that's where
i realised
this is not
definitely NOT where i want to be!

and then there's this
reviews
and things you have to do
even when
you don't want to
but still you have to live through
on some anlaysis
on the way things
should have gone
or not
trust me, definitely NOT

the last month
the boredom crept in again
more than ever
this time on
i have been losing control
more importantly
i have not been loving
what i usually loved

the last month
i have been questioning
everything
my thoughts, my words
my actions
and somehow i can't find
what i am looking for!