Con.fu.sion

We are a confused generation
Caste, Creed, Colour!
Wtf?
You might be in denial but it still exists, you dumb f*%$!
Who are you kidding?

You don’t care about caste, creed or colour?
Yah right… I just got a sentence for you – Stop lying to yourself!

The fact of the matter is no matter how high we climb in life, no matter how radical our thinking might be, it comes down to the f&%$ing basics -- Caste, Creed, Colour.

Caste…
What you crying about??
Yah it was your f&%#ing mistake to be born into a lower caste than me.
It is your cross to carry and deal with it!
So you think climbing the corporate ladder and bags full of money will wipe out the fact? Don’t fool yourself.

It’s a fact… the sooner you accept it, the better it is for your and society!
Yeah society! We are supposed to living in a cultured developed environment.
But should you mingle with someone from a lower caste.
You are an outcast!!!

Shame on you… You dirty freak!
What will people say?
Think think what will people say?
And suddenly your happiness is more important than some godforsaken retard!

Creed…
Ok who was it that told me – All God’s are One!
I suggest you go get your head checked.
We live in a society where there are Hindus, Catholics, Muslims, etc.
Yeah yeah all is fine, we co-exist.
But should someone want to breach the gap… then its World War IV waiting to happen.
No one wants to accept the fact that may be they could more than exist.

It's reality my friend.
The sooner you accept it the better it is for you and me,
Or so I was told!

May be you are right!
It’s another rule society has placed on us.
Cross the line and we will cast you as an outcast.
So my friend, you better join the crowds.

It's better this way… right?
Good to see you agreeing with me.

And then there is Colour…
I was born fair, wheatish. Thank goodness!
There was celebration at birth, at least my colour, if nothing else will bring me good marriage prospects.
Ok am 25 and still single. So much for being fair.

In this light skin crazed country, do you know the number of the population subjected to the torture of fairness creams and ayurvedic remedies.
Self-inflicted or by force, you can run from it but you can’t hide.

But society wants light skinned people.
Yah?
So how come no one told them to take a hike to America.
We are a nation of brown people and let’s live with it.

Duh man. Get a life!
Or if you can’t get a life… stop cribbing and pick the damn fairness cream.

Yeah I am rude, and I don’t care!
Everyone needs a rude awakening once in a while.

So remember – Caste, Creed, Colour…
In any order it still exists.
It’s a sad REALITY!

P.S. Let us pause for a minute for this extremely sad cause.

PINK + SHOES = ME

I am grinning ear to ear writing this.

It’s because in a long time I am feeling really happy! Happy Happy Happy.

Ok ok I confess! I got PINK canvas shoes. Yes and they are pink. And they are so cool!

And it’s a gift from a real good friend. My birthday gift!
May be it was not on the list. But who cares!

I love shoes!
And I love Pink shoes!!

See the thing is I went shopping with my friend Pankaj, we both live away from our home and there’s no one waiting for us with hot home food or anything. So time spent with a friend is time spent well, rather than going back to a place you have to share with strangers.

So, we went shopping at my favourite store “Westside” and there I see it… Shoes!

That too in my favourite colour, and how could I just not own them.

I bought them but when I got to the counter my friend looking at the excitement on my face says let me make this a gift from me.

Umm OK! But seriously OMG!!! The shoes are so perfect. And the fact that it was a gift from my friend makes it even more perfect.

Hey I know am babbling but I just can’t contain my excitement.

I know a lot of people will hate Pankaj for gifting me the “pink” shoes but I love them.

Thanks a ton buddy!

Me?

Hey now I don't need to tell you that, that's ME!
And my friend who is the best illustrator I have ever come across has captured me in my true self.

oh yes! And the illustrator in question is Sameer.
Check out his cool work. (he is linked on my blog)
So get there and check out this cool dude!


The Bhai by ~coolkarnisam on deviantART

12 days on a holiday! --- Days 2 to 6:

check out my photo blog.

click on image to see what I have been up to. :)

goa this august

12 days on a holiday! --- Day 1:

So I am home. It’s different this time on. Why because for the first time in all my 25 years my brother’s not at home. No one to ignore me, no one to steal kisses from me, no one to irritate me, no one to call me by silly names, no one to run to in case of technical issues… my brother is just not there!

Where did he go, you ask? H re-located as his job demanded so. I understand because I did the same for my career, but its just lonely being the only child at home.

Getting home was not tough. How difficult could it be? I love traveling, especially in the monsoons. So the facts that I had to travel by train dint bother me a bit. Ok I had everyone worried. The day I was to leave the rain gods decided to unleash their blessings. But it’s the rainy reason!

Anyway, my train journey was not that great. I read Harry Potter & the Deathy Hallows, listened to music and dozed off to sleep. Morning, I stood watching the scenes pass me by. The simplicity of life, gripped me. Shepard’s watching their flock, children running to keep up with a speeding train waving at you, women with pots on their head coyly simple at you, while some wash clothes by the stream, the green fields, the simple houses... everything was so so… WOW! For once I felt at peace with myself. Sigh.

(Hey check some of the pictures I clicked)

My dad was there to pick me. And even gave the car keys to me to drive home. Now that’s something I love --- Driving! I find it extremely relaxing! 20 minutes and I was home… into the opens arms of my mom. Bet my family was happy to see me and same here! It’s been so long. Even my cat was glad to see me.

What I intend to do at home?

Sleep, relax, help around at home, watch TV, spend quality time with my cat, experience what’s it to be an only child, eat chocolates, sit by the beach and get a PhD in doing nothing!

That’s it for today!

Its friendship day tomorrow and my friends have already started pouring in their greetings.

50 Good Girl Commandments

The 50 Good Girl Commandments, or ‘GG-ologue’, are a list of religious and moral imperatives which, are written by ‘greycellsinxs’ and her aid ‘the dark side of the loon.’

Blessed by the Holy One on Mount Moron, these not two but five stone tablets, hold the unspoken truth that about every girls dilemma!

The phrase "50 Good Girl Commandments" generally refers to suppression of the feminine mind. Brain washed, would be more apt, that too done most likely by a family member or society at large.

Here they are as the thought struck…

1. Thou shall honour the wishes of your parents.
2. Thou shall always be home by 7.
3. Thou shall not wear skirts above the knees.
4. Thou shall work towards world peace.
5. Thou shall not display cleavage.
6. Thou shall always cover your head when you go out.
7. Thou shall not have sex before marriage.
8. Thou shall not mouth swear words.
9. Thou shall have only girlfriends.
10. Thou shall not steal covert looks at hot guys.
11. Thou shall only listen to spiritual music.
12. Thou shall not read thrash! (Mills & Boons, Harlequin Romance, etc)
13. Thou shall only watch PG rated programmes.
14. Thou shall not listen to hip hop, rap.
15. Thou shall not adorn thy room with rockstar posters!
16. Thou shall only eat health food.
17. Thou shall not bad mouth others.
18. Thou shall always be eager to please.
19. Thou shall not flirt.
20. Thou shall not watch porn.
21. Thou shall only work towards the betterment of the society.
22. Thou shall not engage in activities such as kissing.
23. Thou shall always help others in need.
24. Thou shall not aspire to be a wanna-be.
25. Thou shall rescue strays.
26. Thou shall not pierce your nipples.
27. Thou shall not adorn thy body with tattoos.
28. Thou shall not smoke.
29. Thou shall not fantasize.
30. Thou shall stay away from alcohol.
31. Thou shall not fall in love with your best guy friend.
32. Thou shall not bunk lectures/work.
33. Thou shall not wear red lipstick.
34. Thou shall believe in fairy tales.
35. Thou shall dream of Prince Charming, white horse et all.
36. Thou shall not overtake while driving.
37. Thou shall indulge in hobbies such as art and gardening.
38. Thou shall not sport short hair.
39. Thou shall not wear sexy high heeled shoes.
40. Thou shall not do it doggy style.
41. Thou shall not swallow.
42. Thou shall emulate a nun.
43. Thou shall not go skinny dipping.
44. Thou shall not get a Brazilian wax.
45. Thou shall only dream of a white marriage.
46. Thou shall stay away from bad boys.
47. Thou shall always feel guilty after sex.
48. Thou shall never masturbate.
49. Thou shall not wear sexy lingerie.
50. Thou shall never go commando.

So remember, all said and done RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN!
Live life, it’s short, it’s fun and it’s worth the risk.

But while you are at it…
PLAY SAFE!

Why did you let go?

May be the time was right.
May be you felt what you were doing was right.
May be you thought we had nowhere to go.
May be you thought I would not know.
May be you thought I would not understand.
May be you realized I could finally comprehend…
The hard reality and the pain

Perhaps you thought it was not possible.
Perhaps you felt the space was grace.
Perhaps you cared more than I did.
Perhaps you thought things through.
Perhaps things would have been different…
But did you ask me? Hadn’t I had the right to know!

I will never know,
Cos you never told me so.

I will never feel,
Cos you never let me to do so.

I will not cry,
Cos you always said only girls do so.

But the question still remains…
Why did you let go!

My Works of Art

Pieta in Pencil






Boats in Oils

Iris - etched in glass

What are you scared of?

Me?
Ever since I have been a little girl, I hid behind my mom’s skirt. Afraid to face the world, secure in the shadow of my mom. But what was I scared of then? New faces. People always wanting to pinch my chubby cheeks. Amid the pain I was forced to smile, when all I wanted to scream was, “Stay away you crazy auntie! That hurts!” But as a kid I was scared that action of mine would have brought a punishment, least embarrassed my parents.

But as life passes by you learn to take a stand. You learn to fight the odds.
Growing up teaches you a lot of things.

Now as I look back I realize my school days were the best of days. The pocket money, play time and the only tension one had in the world was -- studying!
Come junior college and there you are thrown in a new environment. What to do? What to say? How do I be cool? Will others like me? Suddenly all I am scared of is – will I be liked by others?

A little later in life I was thrown into a professional college! And as everyone knows, the ragging in professional colleges is inhumane at times. I don’t know how I was spared but I guess my smile and being friends with a few senior boys, literally saved my ass! Believe me I was shit scared the few months of college. Then life became one huge party without actually partying.

All secure for the next 5 years and then suddenly I got to make a living! Support myself, prove myself! Thrown in the advertising industry, believe me mate it’s not easy, I did struggle in spite the fact that I was a university topper! Ok but I guess its life’s way of telling you nothing is easy. Nothing come free! I was not exactly scared of this new challenge but this meant giving up everything I held dear. Arises once again; the questions. Do I really need to leave home to do this? How important is this to me? What am I going to do? Suddenly the odds were against me.

Consider this, I know I am not the only one here but, after 22 years of living in a secure environment with everything at my disposal (a bike of my own, my own room, no chores to do, living in absolute luxury), now I have to take a decision of my own. Some of which would reflect in everything I do. I have never before handled finances, and now I got to shop for groceries, spend on travel, accommodation and what not, and still have to save. So I do I do this?
Scared again was I? I would being lying if I said no!

That’s not all… what else could I have been scared of? Falling in love, maybe?
For all my 23 years I had never known what this feeling was. I didn’t want to give someone the power to hurt me. I was scared of getting hurt. Scared of getting left behind. Scared of not knowing what to do. Scared! Scared! Scared! It was my biggest fear.
May be that’s why I never gave it shot. That, and my mom always wanting something else from me. Then suddenly one fine day I stop caring. I took the plunge! I lived without fear. I guess someone showed me how. I suddenly had all that it would take to fight the odds. It was a testing time. I loved every moment of it. Never a regret. Never will regret a moment of it. Cos this all this taught me one important lesson. “Take a stand for your happiness. No one will do it for you.”
Did I win this battle you ask? That’s an answer you will never know.

All said and done, there’s one thing I would love to share, LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR. Cause fear will keep you at the edge of your seat. Fear won’t let you lose out.

Tell me if it’s time to move on…

Move on from what you ask?
From a thing so dear,
That now it causes nothing but pain,
May be that and fear.

You got to move on,
They told me,
Yet I held on to hope,
No all I can think of is doing dope.

But as I drown in these mucky waters
There comes friends I know who throw me a rope.
Grab on Jo, they tell me
But the words sound a distance echo.

Where am I?
What do I do?
How do I live now?
How do I live without you?

I laugh.
I smile.
I put on a brave front.
But deep inside I am torn through and through!

I honestly don’t know what to do.
I want to cry my heart out
Blame the world
Hold everyone responsible
But what the f***
I know no cares
Or gives a shit what you do.

Worry not about me.
I will learn to walk again.
Thanks to the chosen few,
May be with thanks to you,
I could learn to live again.

I will learn to live again!