Monday, April 23, 2007

Ok here’s the plan…

I just realized how difficult it is for girl these days to find a decent boy and me being me decided to dish out some absolutely FREE advice.

What you are about to read is purely aimed at making you feel like the world’s biggest loser. Get a life you moron there are much better things to do than reading my crap!

You don’t listen do you? Sigh… Anyway let me humour you. Note, this is written solely to give you some cheap thrills.

Remember that cute guy who used to sit behind you in college. Well too bad for you but even then he had a girl.
What’s with you, move on you dumb ass. He dint find you cute then, he won’t find you cute now! (You’ve aged dear)

Stop staring and do something!
Men being men won’t do a thing. They are as scared of you as you are of them. Come on move on.

Ditch every guy your mom finds you.
They are not what they seem. Neither are you. Find a moron you knows and loves you for being you, not some weird character moms chalked out.

Get your best friend to…You know marry you. (Guy best friend that is!) Unless you’re like me and have 3 best guy friends, then you have a problem coming your way. Remember, the movie, My Best Friend’s Wedding… suggest you have a backup plan!

Drug him.
Not too much. Just enough to get him unconscious and then you can have your wicked way with him. If you still can’t manage that. Go kill yourself.
(Ways to do so can be found in my yet to released book titled 101 ways to suicide!--TM registered)

Or just use the clichéd route, “I am going to be the mother of your child.”
But dear please at least make sure you have unsafe sex first! And sob pathetically later!


Ok and if you are still wondering the reason of this article, keep thinking ‘cos you won’t find one.

I never found it. And neither would you.
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